David Nordan

One of thousands of thousands

How many times have I stopped at The Story Wall invitation to tell my story. Too many to count. I didn't think my story - my experience really mattered in the war effort. Why am I now acting on it? Maybe it is because I represent thousands of other Vietnam Vets who went, did the jobs that the (what ever service) trained them to do, and came home with a sense of guilt - survivor guilt.

Most often we were not in extreme situations of harm unlike many of our brothers in combat roles. I joined the Army in August 1963 - "Airborne Unassigned" contract. Naturally I thought I would go to Infantry AIT. I was shocked when my orders where to "Clerk" AIT. I protested, "Sarge there must be a mistake, I am going to be a paratrooper-I should go to Infantry AIT". The reply, "Son, there is no mistake this is what the Army wants - get used to it".

I learned to type and then went to jump school at Ft. Benning, Ga. It was rather cool in December 1963. I had orders for the 82nd Abn Division as company clerk for 17th Cav. I arrived January 1964 and reassigned out of repl Co. to Admin Co. Personnel Records Section. Within a year I was assigned to OJT Finance Section responsible for C Co 2/325. In time and rank I became quality control for 2nd Bn 325th finance section. My ETS was 4 August 1966.

A friend of mine had orders for Vietnam, and he talked me into volunteering to go to Vietnam. I didn't have enough time in my enlistment. So, my enlistment was amended from 3 years to 4 years and I got orders for the 173rd Abn Bde.

Arrived "in country" 10 September 1966 assigned to Co. A Spt Bn. It is odd when you are a part of a support unit. You do have a company (loosely speaking), really no squad, no platoon and in my case I was in a stand alone position. What I mean is that I responsibility of closing out and forwarding all personnel who were leaving the Brigade. That means all DEROS, Reassignments, WIA, and KIA.

On occasion, usually once a month, I was sent to the field to a particular units location because they had been in the field for an extended period of time and could not access "finance" if there was a specific pay concern regarding an allotment, birth of a child, or marital status change. Not once was I treated with indifference for having a position in the rear. Often, I worked for hours listening and attempting to find the solution for their concern. Odd as it may seem, back then all forms needed to be submitted in a typewritten manner and with a signature. No I did not have a type writer with me. I asked to be trusted and to sign the blank form. Although I had stapled a sheet of paper with all pertinent information hand written onto the form a lot of trust had to be given.

On one occasion I recall that a SSG squad leader had been killed before I returned and could address his concern. I remember him because he had come from Germany and joined the U. S. Army. He was married and two kids. Going back to closing out finance records. DEROS were no problem. It was great. They made it through - going home - usually assigned to an installation in the US. The WIA's were difficult, and the KIA's very difficult. I got to know them. I knew how old, how long in service, how long in Nam, how they died, where they were from, marital status, and who was designated on the SGLI form.

The manner in which a KIA died sometimes would bring stunning reality to just how many ways someone could die. Drown, accidental self inflicted, aircraft crash, motor vehicle crash, and yes one occasion - a "fragging". Fratricide is hard to believe, but it was probably more common then thought. The more common forms of death were as a result of small arms fire, multiple fragment wounds from mortars or other improvised modes. The most sad of all were the deaths by "friendly fire".

One day I will never forget - 22June1967.

On that day 76 men from Co A 2/503 were taken from us. There were a few WIA's but not many because the NVA, after the battle, went through the battle field and assassinated many of the wounded.

Another day is when I good friend of mine was killed. He was a career soldier, E-6 squad leader, married with 3 daughters. Heart breaking.

Do I think of Vietnam often? Sure I do. I think of those who died and of those who suffered severe wounds. What they gave. Lost potential of the youth that could have given so much more to our world - or just simply living a good life. I am a devout Catholic. When the priest says, "and for those who have died in your mercy" - I immediately think of them.

So there it is. My story. One much like others who were "in support". We did our service TO OUR UTMOST which so happens to be the Motto for the Support Battalion of the 173rd Abn Bde. But somehow it was not enough. That is why most of us live with survivor guilt