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Camouflage & Lace

Long narrow photo of a womans and a mans eyes.

I recorded my 1970s experiences with Vietnam veterans as my thesis at NYU. I was 53 years old at the time I wrote my story. Somehow I got swept up in this world as a young college girl. It took me over 30 years to write.

I did the whole project on my own but also with the voices of Vietnam veterans as a catharsis and a tribute to Vietnam veterans. I feel that no matter what, every veteran deserves to wear white.

This is a true story of students and soldiers, told in the spirit of tribute and eulogy. It was never my story to tell alone.

01 INTRODUCTION

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02 SONG: CAMOUFLAGE & LACE (SHORT VERSION)

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03 ALFREDO CABRERA - BILL HAGER - WILLIE HAGER

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04 SONG: JUMP RIGHT IN

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05 LAST PATROL GATHERS

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A bearded man in a tank top, sunglasses, and a boonie hat. Text on image says "Willie Hager, 1972."


06 SONG: MOVING ON IN CIRCLES

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I feel that no matter what, every veteran deserves to wear white.

Young man in uniform, holding a rifle. Text on photo says "Russ Scheidler 1969."

Russ Scheidler is a Vietnam era vet who served in the Marine Corps from 196901972 as a communications expert and forward observer stationed in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Today, he is a tireless advocate for workers in Minnesota, a state employee and an AFSCME steward. A musician most of his life, Russ has recorded under the names of "Hugin the Bard" and "Uncle Russ."

07 MORE LAST PATROL - ARRESTED - GAINESVILLE 8 (PLUS 4)

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08 SONG: TRUST ME

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09 MARCHING IN MIAMI - GASSED

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10 SONG: SOUNDS ON THE WIND

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11 RON KOVIC FALLS - AMERICA FALLS - LOCAL BAR

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By day, Willie continues to fight the war. By night, he fights it too - privately - thinking his cries don't wake me.

12 SONG: EVERY SINGER SOUNDS THE SAME

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13 JOHN KERRY - THE MURDERING JAIL - BILL UNGER

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14 SONG: I BELIEVED

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15 BEING WITH YOU

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16 DENISE - TEEPEES & FLUTES - BED GOT WET

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Black and white photo of a soldier squinting, holding a Coke; text on photo says "Doug Drews Saigon 1969".

Heart was the only gift I could offer him; I wasn’t much good at anything else. But I learned.

A young man posing for an official military portrait. Text on photo says "Lt. Steve Sherlock 1966."

17 SONG: WINDBENDER

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18 COM'G HOME - CABRERA LETTER - NOT INVISIBLE NYC

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19 SONG CAMOUFLAGE & LACE (FULL VERSION)

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20 THE END

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During the time period covered by this story (about 1972- 1976 with some prologue and epilogue), politics fired our passions and touched everything about us. I don’t think there is any way to separate our lives back then from the monsoon of repercussions stirred by the Vietnam War. Everyone was affected, drenched to the bone, even a young girl from the Southern California beach-burbs like me. Today, the wars may have new names, but the sounds and warnings of Vietnam still reverberate across the globe.

I can’t speak for Vietnam Veterans Against the War (VVAW). All I can offer is what I personally witnessed and felt as I sought sanity and self amidst the chaos of the times. Immersed in the world of VVAW- a young girl among soldiers- I was (and am) just a regular person. Through events I witnessed first hand, my political and personal education deepened.

For Willie Hager, the veteran I loved back then, my softness and clueless innocence provided a badly needed safe harbor, a place of rest, in his turbulent world. Heart was the only gift I could offer him; I wasn’t much good at anything else. But I learned. Just bursting into life, I sought- no, quested- after a better life, a life of meaning, significance and substance. Everyone I knew did. Marches, drug use, love ins - the goal was deeper understanding of this crazy world and attempts to make it better. Senseless getting off and thrill-seeking was never our goal; we sought meaning, connections, answers and a world free of pain and suffering.

Our approach was creative: We sought a world full of miracles.

Close
Woman in a pink blouse smiling.

Diane, 1972.

Biographical Details

Primary Location During Vietnam: California, United States Vietnam location marker

Story Subject: Civilian

Camouflage & Lace audiobook cover

Story Themes: Alfredo Cabrera, Bill Unger, Bruce Dern, California, Civilian, College, Country Joe & the Fish, David Harris, Diane Ford Wood, Drugs and Alcohol, Gainesville Eight, Gerald Nicosia, GOP, Holly Near, Hunter S. Thompson, Jack McClosky, Jack Nicholson, Jane Fonda, Jerry Lembcke, Joan Baez, John Kerry, Jon Voight, Kris Whelan, Love, Lydia McClosky, Martin Luther King Jr., Music, NYU, Poetry, Ron Kovic, Saint Paul, Scott Camil, St Paul, Steve Hassna, Summer of Love, The Last Patrol, Tom Hayden, Vietnam Veterans Against the War, Waldo Salt, Willie Hager

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