A Better Chapter

People would make fun of the culture I came from, asking:

if I eat dogs. Why am I so small?

Why do I have a funny accent?

And why do I go to a place where I do not know.

It got to the point where I was so tired I started to hate myself.  I closed the doors and not let anybody in. I stopped talking at school and I just wished I was an American so I can fit in so I can be like one of them so that I would not be seen as a chinky Asian who eats dogs and struggles when she speaks English.

A better chapter opened up after I moved from California to Minnesota. I attended Humbolt Senior High School and found myself being surrounded with people from all around Asia. I felt like I was home again as they talked to me and respected my culture. From there, I started to talk more, and learn more about other cultures and also learning more about myself. I joined many after-school activities and, over time, they were no longer clubs.

They were like families to me as everyone supported and cared for each other. The two most important families to me were JROTC and College Possible. JROTC taught me how to be a leader, how to overcome myself when I think I can’t do some things, by not to give up easily. I learned to be competitive in my education and set goals for myself. I tried new things that I once thought I could never do, such as getting in the top ten and overcoming my fear of talking to people that are different from me. In College Possible, it is another family that supports me and helps me on my way to college.

It was a dream come true when I got accepted to the University of Minnesota. I still remember the day I got home and received an acceptance letter in the mail. It was unbelievable at first. For a person who hated herself, not knowing as much English, and not wanting to talk at all, I became a stronger person that kept on working hard to want my dream and achieve it, no matter how much people around me tried to push me down, I have learned that I need to stand strong in order to show them that I can accomplish what they think I can’t.

In August 2009, I came to America, and in June 2014, I graduated from high school and ready to go on further with my education. These five years seemed to pass by fast. The day I entered school and started hating myself seems like yesterday.  And today I again enter a place where there are people who are completely different from me, but I know I cannot hate myself again and I cannot be a different person to fit in because I am who I am.

I still have an accent. I will still struggle to speak English and the culture I grew up with will always be with me deep down in my heart.